Beginnings mean ends. They mean goodbyes of beloved people, a suspension of that together-time. They mean letting go of apparently Very Important Things. I had been running around for years, from Doctoral Studies to another Master while doing two courses and working in two places. It all came to me quite unexpected. I became a workaholic.

I felt it was never enough what I did. I founded my own multidisciplinary company, with actors, musicians and dancers. When I wrote a theatre piece called Lost that had what it needed, I took the criticism in the wrong direction and rewrote it into something that wasn't me, while the entire company was so surrealistically Lost that I could write a play about it with that same title.

But for me, within me, something Very Important fell apart. A Dream. And then I said: let's do it. Let's go. Let's do the crazy stuff that's not my dream, but yours. I can live with it. I can travel in your suitcase if necessary. I don't know yet how I will contact total strangers to see if we can collaborate. I don't know if I'm breaking my entire music career. But let's do it.

I remember the light panic that was always in the background. I remember the day we flew, a day that never ended because of the 8 extra hours, although the flight was really exciting! I remember when we flew over Halifax: another continent, endless green as far as the eye went. I remember the first days while you were arranging the papers to retrieve the van, and cleaning and filling it up: it coincided with grey days and tears on the windows, while a spider made a web in the light glistering through the clouds. I felt far from home, but I had done that already many years ago, when I moved unprepared from Holland to Spain in my early twenties. I knew I could do it.

Beginnings mean letting go of attachments. I wasn't sure if I could become yet again unattached from a place, and a life, that I liked. But for years I had been walking against a kind of invisible creative wall. Life always gives you what you need, and I needed to go on my own Odyssey.